Embracing Time to ‘Just Be,’ to Reimagine Tomorrow

As I sit here at my kitchen island looking out our sliding glass doors, I see family after family walk, run, or bike by. We live on a corner lot and from our house, we see people come in and out of our neighborhood. Fewer cars are coming in and out, but more people are spending time with their family outdoors than usual. Here in NY we are only in phase 1 of reopening. That means that we are on full restriction but manufacturing has reopened as have many stores, but only for curbside pickup. We can only enter supermarkets or pharmacies.

Emotions Evolve and Unexpected Shifts Occur

At the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic of 2020, I felt completely overwhelmed. My role focuses on teacher support, so getting educators up and running for emergency remote teaching and learning was quite a feat! We’ve experienced a lot of success in terms of teachers taking risks with new technology and connecting with families. We host multiple hours of PD daily to support teacher development. With that said, if this continues and it very well may, we need to shift more into fostering connections with learners, incorporating more social emotional learning, and work through the integration of highly effective instructional strategies. Our work is never really done, but it’s beautiful work!

Despite the busyness with my job as instructional coach/technology integration specialist, I have found myself slowing down in other areas. At first I fought it, it was foreign and uncomfortable to me. I even confided in a friend that it worried me. I always pride myself on my ability to persist and accomplish whatever I set my mind to. Within, I had this slight tinge of anxiety that I wasn’t doing what I needed to be my most successful self. You see, prior to the stay at home order, my work as a speaker and author were picking up. I even have a podcast planned and ready to roll when the time is right… for me.

I think that that’s just it. What’s right for one, isn’t always right for another. What’s ideal for us during one season of our lives, may require adjustment in another. Sometimes, it’s okay to let go and just be. I want to clarify that ‘just be’ doesn’t mean to just let yourself go and not care for yourself. Instead, it means to live in the present. Be mindful. Embrace what’s before you. I can’t tell you how many times I have worked through weekends or evenings. I’m sure it’s more times than I can even count. I have always found a way to fit everything in and thensome. However, I’ve had time to reflect since March 16th, although I probably wasn’t as reflective as I have been the past four weeks.

Have you ever experienced feelings that you fought? Tried to push them out of the way or ignore them in hope that they’ll simply disappear? Well, that’s what I had been doing. Despite feeling the internal pull to spend more time doing things I enjoy; reading, time with family, writing, working out, training our 7 month old puppy, etc., I would engage in those activities and then feel guilt that I wasn’t doing ‘enough.’ I have felt pressure (from myself) to launch my podcast, do livestreams, create a webinar, more materials & resources, so on and so forth. However, despite the pressure from myself, I pulled back. I dipped a toe into doing more of what I felt compelled to do in the moment and before I knew it, that dipped toe grew into wadding in the water. At times I feel more centered and then others, I feel like I should be doing… ‘more.’

I’m gradually learning to embrace this current shift, but to be real with you, I still worry. I ask myself, “what if I don’t launch that podcast?” or “how have you not developed a webinar like so many others?” I’m not sure that’ll go away because I’m accustomed to, ‘keeping up with the Joneses,’ if you will. Personally, I think that all of those things will come when the timing is right. I think that right now, I’m living and doing exactly what I’m meant to be.

Priceless Moments That Likely Never Would have Occurred

This morning, I took a three mile walk with our 15 year old. We walk daily and it’s one of the only times he opens up. We walk, and he talks. Sometimes I select the right timing to engage him in reflective questioning or sneak in heart-to-hearts or mini lessons about life, but mostly, I just listen. I never would have had the opportunity to know him like I’ve grown to know him without this time period. Usually he is out the door by 7 am and back home after varsity tennis at 6 pm or later if a match took place. Then, it was dinner, school work and time to sleep to repeat it all over again.

Each night, we are also playing board games with our 13 year old. Never in my wildest dreams (knowing our youngest the way I do) would I have ever predicted that at 13 he’d hold my husband and I accountable to play board games each night from 7:30 pm- 9:00 pm. I’ll confide in you that there are nights where on occasion, I’m tempted to say, “hey, buddy… I need to dive into that podcast I want to launch.” However, this time period won’t last forever. In fact, this time has reminded me how much has changed in the past few years with my boys and that the time we have together is invaluable and irreplaceable. You see, I can’t get back the weekends or evenings I worked or the times I was away for speaking. But, I can ensure that I embrace this time and make every moment count.

To be clear, I don’t have regrets. I believe that we all do our best and intentions are always positive. It’s just that I’ve felt somewhat of a transformation within take place. I wonder how many others have experienced some kind of transformation during this time? My transformation isn’t a complete change as I will continue moving forward with projects, however I do believe that I’ll explore how I can pace myself to be as present as possible and take time to enjoy all of the things I appreciate being able to do. Plus, remain open to some of the changes that are happening. You never know where they might lead.

It’s Okay To Slow Down

With summertime approaching, it’s a great reminder for all that it’s okay to slow down and just be. In fact, slowing down is allowing me to reimagine tomorrow. Rather than going day-by-day, I reflect by thinking about how I want my life to look moving forward. I also consider the kind of impact I want to have and different ways that I can make it happen. I’ve written about self-care before and I choose to return to it because although I’m a fitness fanatic of sorts and workout daily, I often place self-care (in terms of embracing moments, balancing life, and engaging in mindfulness) on the back burner. It’s possible you can relate. For instance, I’ve been watching educators in all roles work constantly to figure out how to best serve students and families and how to transition to online platforms. We’ve cleaned out our classrooms, and closed everything down for the year (with the exception of online learning).

I know that educators are emotionally spent. I recognize the exasperation you feel every time you even consider what might happen in the fall with the opening of schools. I feel your fear, uncertainty, and frustration. I wish I could put my arms around you as you cry about not being able to say goodbye to learners of the 2019-2020 school year or help kids who you know are likely experiencing trauma or a negative homelife. So much pain, frustration, and exhaustion. My hope is that we can all acknowledge our emotions and take time to just breathe…. just be. We need our summer months to rest, rejuvenate, and prepare to gear up for whatever comes our way in future months.

It is so easy to put ourselves last. However, I’m telling you, that taking time to care for yourself and engaging in healthy activities you feel compelled to do, is okay. In fact, it may be better than just okay. It’s been so hard to do myself, because it’s not in my nature, but I feel like a new me is emerging and that’s kind of exciting. Without this time, I wouldn’t have had the same opportunity connect with my family or truly understand even my own heart and what I want to do. I know that as the school year winds down, I need time to rejuvenate and recenter myself. I want to take time to reimagine my tomorrow and ensure that I live my best life, not just a life I feel I need to maintain. Just like a butterfly doesn’t fight metamorphosis, I think that we too, need to accept that change is inevitable and that if we are patient and embrace it, it may be the most beautiful thing.

Accepting and Expecting Change Requires Mindfulness & Trust in the Process

Unlike weeks ago when I confided my worry about my internal feelings to a friend, those worries are shifting to contentedness and excitement for the future. I want to assure you too, that it’s okay to have a wide variety of feelings in connection with this time period and for our future (education in the fall). Either way, we are in it together. In the meantime, my hope is that you’ll join me in embracing the little moments within the day, mindfulness, and accept that although change can feel uncertain or messy, it can also grow into something absolutely beautiful in time.

Here is my plan for the weeks to come if you’re interested in all or just parts of it for yourself:

• Engage in gratitude journaling daily (I got away from this in the last month and I need to return to it).
• Create a list of what brings joy, then make a plan to experience them.
• Jot down what creates feelings of peace and calm, then turn to them as needed or schedule them in at least once per week.
• Embrace time to soak in moments with loved ones and really listen.
• Journal what life looks like a week, month, and year from now–– with the understanding that it doesn’t mean that is where we will be, but it will help us focus our journey.
• Each week, reflect on time spent with family or loved ones. If you’re unable to see loved ones due to the coronavirus, how might you connect more often via phone calls, texts, or letters?

Life certainly is a journey and I believe that there are times in which we may cross to a different path or that paths will interweave with others. What’s important is that we engage in reflection and remember what’s most important in life. For me, it used to be about what I could produce and accomplish. Currently, it’s about what I can simply appreciate and soak in. As a creator, I know that that pendulum will swing back to a place where I’ll dive back into more creation such as my planned podcast, but I want to reimagine my tomorrow and how I want my life to look. When I’m at the very tail end of my life, I want to be able to say that I lived my fullest life–– which will continue to evolve throughout the years. I look at life like chapters within a book. One chapter may close, but there’s still connections and the evolution of story within the book.

So, my hope for you is that you too, can step back and simply be for a bit. Even if for an hour or two. Reflect on your journey, engage in self-care, and together, we will all come back even stronger and more resilient than before. In my heart, I believe that when educators step back and recenter themselves, they also have the opportunity to reimagine better learning experiences for kids. It’s in our quite, calm moments, that we often remember what’s most important; the well-being of every individual.