To Be Your Best, Invest in Yourself: 7 L.E.A.P. Tips

I’ve got to be honest. I am not someone who is a pro at practicing self-care. For as long as I can remember I’ve had an “all-in” personality. When I commit to something, I dive right in and keep moving toward my goal. Whether I was competing as an athlete, taking on the role as a mom, or serving as an educator, my style is to go all out. I like to see how far I can push myself. In fact, just the other day as I was biking on the beach I wanted to see how hard I could go (using my Apple Watch as a guide to measure both heart rate, speed and distance) while riding against the ocean wind. Several times I wanted to stop pedaling. My legs were burning, but my mindset squashed the urge to halt because the feeling of conquering challenges is just that sweet to me. The truth is, my personality totally comes with a cost.

As a new mom, I was bound and determined to do everything the way I felt it had to be done. I’ll never forget my mom’s advice. “Lis… If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t best take care of Julian (our first born) the way you want.” You see, he didn’t sleep through the night for nine months for various reasons and I wanted to put him first, like most moms do. What I didn’t see was that taking time for me was actually putting his needs first. My mom was right, but her words don’t apply just to being a new mom. If we want to do our best in anything, we absolutely have to care for ourselves.

You Cannot Draw Water From an Empty Well

After publishing my book, Take the L.E.A.P.: Ignite a Culture of Innovation, I realized that I had poured all of my energy into balancing the writing process, teaching, serving on multiple committees, caring for my family, and many other commitments, that I had totally neglected to care for myself.I put myself last because I prioritized everything and everyone else but me. Looking back, it seems so silly because everything I was doing clearly came from me- that means I was required to give, give and give some more. However, you just can’t keep drawing water from an empty well. In the past year, I’ve learned the importance of saying no in order to focus my energy where it needs to go.

Realizing that I had to do something different (in addition to saying no), I made some adjustments. One was that I began working out regularly and focusing more on eating for nutrition as opposed to tracking what I ate to manage calories. Although I’ve always been relatively healthy, I realized that I was really hard on myself and didn’t treat myself with the same respect that I treated others. I thank my past colleague, Jamie Dauphinet, for encouraging me to join New York Sport and Fitness and also Heather Maio (gym-owner) for inspiring me to see that we have to respect our bodies- not through dieting, but through eating nutritious foods and balancing our lives. Rather than focusing on how I look, I go after how I feel. Being able to squat 110 lbs. or pushing a sled at the gym that is well over 200 lbs. makes me feel strong and so proud of my effort different than in the past. Loving myself by nurturing my body has been transformational. I also stepped back to reflect on how I’m spending my time. I realized that there were parts of my day that were wasteful and that scrolling social media needed to be limited. Most often, I’m on social media to connect, learn, and grow. However, it’s easy to get sucked right in to scrolling and then feel like you haven’t accomplished what you set out to do. It can leave me feeling unproductive. Now, I go on with greater purpose- to share, add-value, develop relationships and learn from others.

My friend and fellow educator and author, Mandy Frohlich, published a blog post titled, Four Types of Self-Care. Although I’m a huge advocate for social-emotional learning and will nod my head in agreement when it comes to self-care, her post really hit home with me in terms of self-care. It was another reminder of how I needed to schedule time for me because once again, my calendar filled and I found myself going from one thing to the next. I have to be very diligent to ensure my calendar has space for me, too.

It’s Not Selfish To Take Time For You

What I’ve learned is that self-care is not a one size fits all. What works for one, may not work for another. For me, moving weights releases pent up energy and there’s just something about working with resistance that grounds me. Not to mention, I’m driven by results. However, I also benefit from just taking in my surroundings. As a matter of fact, as I write this post, I sit in a beautiful dining room of a Kiawah Island condo that we rented for our family vacation. I look around and can appreciate the beauty of nature that surrounds me. Watching the palm tree leaves sway in the wind is calming. It’s rare that I sit and just take in my surroundings, but I realize the benefits. Being present not only calms the mind and soul, but for me, it sparks a sense of wonder and awe that I love to embrace.

I share all this not because I am an expert in self-care, but rather I’m learning about self-care. With each new school year, it’s so easy to say we will take time for ourselves, but the reality is that demands take over. We overcommit and there’s no room left for more. I have seen this in colleagues throughout the years in all roles and have spoken with many educators in Voxer groups about which plates we let fall when we find we’re spinning way too many.

7 L.E.A.P. Tips: What I’ve Learned Through My Own Self-Care Journey

In the acronym of L.E.A.P., the P stands for potential. We can work towards all we want to accomplish, but if we don’t care for our own selves, we can’t reach our full potential. Below are some of the lessons I’ve learned through my own journey. But the reality is, I’m still learning to practice these regularly myself.

Caring for yourself by loving your body (through rest, engaging in preferred exercise, or whatever relieves stress) demonstrates respect for yourself.

It’s okay to stop looking at what everyone else is doing and dig down deep to pinpoint how you want to do life.

Embrace the little moments- not to sound cliche, but stop and enjoy the roses. See a beautiful flower or sunset? Relish in it, take a picture, soak it all in. When we make it a habit to identify one thing we are grateful for each day, we develop greater appreciation for life.

Create memories through embracing time with loved ones. Laugh, smile, and appreciate life with one another.

Take time to sit in silence to “listen” to your needs. Do you have pent up energy? Do you need quiet time? Perhaps even a fun time out with a loved one or friends is needed. There are so many things that can nurture our soul if we just listen in.

Disconnect from technology to quiet the noise that may be filling your mind. Doing so allows us to focus on what matters most and reconnect with who we are within.

Make self-care part of your daily routine so that it gets prioritized. I’m not saying it’s possible to go receive a massage each day (if you can, more power to you), but it’s absolutely possible to carve out time daily for you- even if it’s ten to fifteen minutes.

Taking Time For You Pays Off

Ever since I’ve begun to truly practice self-care, I feel more productive and in tune with who I am and how I want to live life. Being connected with what feeds my soul energizes me in a completely different way than I felt when I just lived from commitment-to-commitment. I totally get that life is busy. I live busy. However, just like my mom so gently told me as a new mom, if we don’t take care of ourselves, we simply cannot best serve others. As educators, we are in the business of serving others, but that has to include ourselves, too. Caring for ourselves in whatever way is best, is not selfish, it’s simply the fuel we need to put our best foot forward to make an impact in our world.