Promoting Empathy in Learners: Develop Deep Connections

Many educators share that they want to support their learners to develop empathy. It’s common for schools to have monthly character traits that they highlight or host assemblies geared toward fostering positive character with the hope that it will contribute to the development of empathy as well. I notice that awards are often given to those who demonstrate positive character, which is nice, but we can’t hope that by awarding a few that we are supporting all learners to develop quality character and especially empathy. Although humans naturally seek connection from a young age, empathy isn’t something we are born with and it takes time to cultivate. This is especially true if we want to promote deep levels of empathy. We benefit from being intentional about developing empathy and consistent in our practice.

To feel empathize with others, we must know how to connect and grasp that every individual may feel different- even in the same environment. We see signs of empathy in even our youngest learners as some will comfort peers who are sad or want to help those who are struggling. However, all children go through different phases and life experiences and not all develop empathy or a deep level of empathy. Many of us have seen children who lack empathy, but it’s not so simple to just tell a child to be kind to others.

Webster’s dictionary defines empathy as: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either in the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also: the capacity for this.

In an article written by Mindshift KQED, they share Brene Brown’s explanation of empathy stating, “Dr. Brene Brown says empathy consists of four qualities: the ability to take the perspective of another person, staying away from judgment, recognizing emotion in others, and communicating it. She defines empathy as “feeling with people,” and notes that it’s a “vulnerable choice” because it requires a person to tap into something personal that identifies with the struggle of another.”

In the classroom, there are many ways we can support the development of empathy in all ages. Here are a few, but I would love to hear other ideas from you.

1. Model Empathy: We can model empathy by simply taking the time to listen to learners. When the time comes for us to respond, rather than telling them everything will be okay, validate their feelings using active listening techniques. For example, you might respond with: “I am sure that was really hard on you.” By telling someone they’re going to be okay, although the intentions are good, we end up dismissing emotions that are very real. When we listen more and speak less, we send the message that what the other person is communicating matters. Engaging in active listening places the child’s needs first and helps foster a sense of belonging. Research shows that the more connected children feel at school, the more motivated they are to learn. We can model empathy when working one-on-one with learners, with small groups as they interact, and as we communicate and learn as a whole group. Children watch our every move, our body language, word choices, and tones, all send messages. Ideally, we want to communicate with consistency so that our message aligns with our actions.
2. Leverage the Power of Team Building: I get it. You are busy. There’s not enough time to “cover” everything you feel pressured to cover. However, team building can be extremely powerful if combined with debriefing questions that encourage learners to reflect and emote. I utilize team building structures designed to intentionally support the development of students into responsible risk takers within the framework of experiential learning and choice theory. Students participate in collaborative activities that work through the stages of cooperation, trust, problem solving and challenge. We never move on to the next stage until we are successful with the first. If we hit the holidays or spring time and feel regression, we may revisit an earlier stage to develop a culture that truly thrives. The debriefing period at the end of each activity is where students make growth in their ability to process, reflect, and emote.  This, along with the integration of Habits of Mind, lends itself as a means to foster empathy in learners. Many of the activities are designed with the purpose of creating scenarios where learners may face conflict, feel frustrated, or have to figure out how to communicate with others to reach success. If you’re facilitating team building without following up with debriefing and opportunities to retool, you’re missing the fruit of labor. Really, that is where the real magic of team building occurs.
3. Incorporate Literature: From picture books to trade books, reading about diverse characters who face a variety of challenges sets the stage for learners to connect with the unique struggles of others. We want learners to be exposed to a variety of social situations because every individual comes from a different background and not all will have similar experiences. The more we can broaden their understanding of the world and the experiences of others, the more we contribute to promoting the development of empathy. We can prompt and support discussions in connection to characters’ emotions, as well as children’s personal feelings about characters or conflicts in the story. Journals can be utilized for quiet reflection through the use of strategic questioning, too. Journaling can help even the quietest learner express their thoughts without judgment. Incorporating literature, discussion, and reflective journaling, all contribute to the development of empathy as learners begin to see through the lense of others. Here is a fantastic resource compiled by Commonsense Media to find books that foster empathy in learners at all ages.
4. Invest Time in Service Projects: If we take time to step back and listen to our learners, most often, we will find that they have interests or concerns that pertain to our world. Taking time to identify what matters to them can help us find the perfect service project that inspires learners to be invested in making a significant difference. However, if your school has a school-wide service project in mind, strive to set the stage to inspire rather than just sharing what the goal is. Any child can bring in coins for a drive, but what is the meaning behind the drive, where is the connection to the heart? By setting the stage through story telling or even a thought provoking video that provides context, we can begin to foster empathy in connection with the topic. Service projects that connect to a need and a sense of purpose can inspire learners to become more involved and driven to make a difference. Although service projects connected to a community need tend to be favorable amongst some schools, there are also great opportunities for learners to contribute global causes such as The Global Goals for Sustainable Development in connection with the United Nations. There are already classrooms invested in the 17 goals (often focusing on one of the seventeen goals). Classrooms are connecting to share their efforts and progress. Learn more by visiting TeachSDGs or The Goals Project.
5. Connect Globally: To develop deeper levels of empathy, our learners benefit from connecting with different individuals from various cultures. The opportunities to connect globally are endless, so I’ll share a few of my favorites! There is nothing like connecting face-to-face, even if it’s virtually. I’ll never forget when our class connected with two classes from New Mexico to embark on a Design Thinking STEM challenge. Over the course of a month we all met and shared our names along with our favorite foods, learned about the Design Thinking Challenge, shared prototypes and feedback, and then tested our designs. Not only did we develop a better understanding of Design Thinking and STEM, but we learned about some cultural similarities and differences, variations in names, time zones, and even different foods that exist! My class was so eager to reconnect with both classes because they were curious about the kids and the learning! Fortunately, Skype in the Classroom provides five (free) ways you can connect your classroom to the world. Empatico is another site in which you can foster a global connection, thus promoting empathy for different cultures and individuals from around the world. We can also utilize Flipgrid to connect globally using #GridPals. Check out Bonnie’s #GridPals Adventure Passport from Flipgrid for even more ideas! The bottom line is that the more we connect with others from various cultures, the more we can gain an understanding of who people are. We’re all human, have emotions, varying perspectives, and cultural differences can be appreciated and embraced.

Although fostering empathy requires time, there are numerous experiences we can immerse learners in to promote the development of it. Together, let’s seek opportunities to support all learners to develop empathy, leading to a deeper level of connectedness and an understanding of perspective. It’s clear that our world is ever changing and new challenges continue to arise. There will always be cultural differences, opposing opinions or perspectives, and emotions that vary from within. Empathy is an essential quality we need to tune into as we journey through life and interact and collaborate with others. Through empathy, we gain a better understanding of the unique needs of others and can strive to make meaningful change to bring the absolute best to our world. I look forward to hearing how you promote empathy in learners. I hope that you share your ideas or resources below, through blogging or sharing out on social media.