Gift With Meaning, Cultivate Joy Within Others

On December 10th, 2019 I had the opportunity to contribute to a webinar on, How to Give Meaningfully, with Mario Christiner and Katie McNamara. Our focus was to drive a conversation around not only meaningful giving, but responsible consumerism in connection with the Sustainable Development Goals, a collection of 17 Global Goals set by the United Nations in 2015 to be complete by 2030. I’ve had a lot of interest with the Global Goals and have done work with integrating Design Thinking so that learners can empathize with struggles or challenges that exist in our world, work through defining problems, ideating, creating prototypes, and then testing to redesign. I get so excited about all of it because it has the potential to provide such authentic learning experiences to children and the opportunity to make a difference in their school, local community, or even globally.

Anyhow, during our conversation, which you can view here, we also explored how educators can encourage learners to give meaningfully. As a child, I grew up understanding the value to giving meaningfully. My mom taught me to really be thoughtful about giving gifts and the importance of giving over receiving. Giving brings greater joy to the heart than receiving. But, to be completely honest, the past three-five years or so haven’t felt as meaningful as I feel they should. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love my family and friends, but the busyness of life can leave us pulling gifts together without much thought. I honestly have good intentions and have even gone into the holiday season with a plan on how to do things differently to bring more meaning. However, I always seem to resort to the concept of: a gift card here, a gift card there, and phew! We’re done. Check off another box.

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy receiving gift cards myself and I’m not saying that they’re bad. They may be better than getting that random gift that ends up sitting in a closet. When it comes to gift cards, I really enjoy picking out my own little treats and some gift cards do hold meaning. For example, after the release of my book, Take the L.E.A.P.: Ignite a Culture of Innovation, my close friend Beth, gifted me with a spa certificate. It was meaningful because she knew I needed to take out time for myself and wanted to encourage me to do so. I found her thoughtfulness to be incredibly meaningful. Even better, her gift was considered clutter-free; meaning that it didn’t lead to any potential waste in our world. Her gift also supported a local business and provided me with a little getaway that I needed. So, I’m not anti-gift cards so much as I just want to take time and really think about who I’m giving to and take into consideration what they may need or enjoy, based on how I know the individual through relationships. Essentially, it’s leveraging empathy for humans we’re connected with and giving a gift from the heart, not just to check off another box.

To me, giving means that we are bringing joy to someone through knowing their needs and likes. It may be simple. One of the best gifts I ever received from my boys were hand-made cards with heartfelt messages and poems to cheer me up when I was sick with the flu one winter. I remember one of the boys acting like it wasn’t enough, but to me, it meant the world that (at 7 and 9) they took time to create something from their heart to cheer me up. I also have a clay ornament with Nolan’s thumbprint imprinted from when he was 4. I carry it around in my coat pocket as a reminder of the sweet tenderness of his youth. He’s still a love, but at 13, it’s just different (parents of teens, or middle school educators, I know you get it)! My most favorite gifts are those that have meaning or a timestamp of moments in life. How often do we underestimate the power of moments and mementos in a society that is so driven by consumerism?

Now, I shared some of my favorite gifts from a child, so what does gift giving look like from adult to adult? Giving can take many shapes and form. My mom has provided me with some of the best gifts, too. She has been the most phenomenal mom and grandmother, helping with our boys over the years and even gifting us with a warm meal at times when she knew we had a lot going on, as most young families do. Our friends have gifted us with gatherings where we laugh hysterically with one another and bond over amazing food and drinks. And then, there is this thing called time. Time is one of the most underestimated gifts we could provide others. Time talking, laughing, walking, or enjoying a meal are all invaluable within a world that is often fast paced. I think that for 2020 my goal will be to spend more quality time with others–– after all, it’s a gift for myself, too. I believe that it’s too easy to get caught up in filling in our calendars, but I can’t help but wonder how many regrets we might have if we neglect spending quality time with those we care most about and love?

With gifting, we can also promote responsible consumerism and meaningful gifting, to connect back with Sustainable Development Goal number 12. You may wonder why this even matters. Well, according to the United Nations, “Should the global population reach 9.6 billion by 2050, the equivalent of almost three planets could be required to provide the natural resources needed to sustain current lifestyles”.

The United Nations also continues sharing that, “there are two main ways to help: 1. Reducing your waste and 2. Being thoughtful about what you buy and choosing a sustainable option whenever possible.

The other day, I came across this graphic of 35 Clutter-Free Gifts. I’m not entirely certain who the creator is, but I really like the ideas shared. Now, as I look through it, it’s possible that not everything here promotes responsible consumerism, but it’s a start. For example, a car wash often uses more water than what is necessary to wash a car. However, for the sake of an example, many of these options support local businesses, offer meaningful experiences, and create or curate memories.

As for our learners, we can help encourage them to create meaningful gifts, too. I have Christmas ornaments galore from our boys that they made in either day care or school. My favorite ones feature a picture of them or their tiny fingerprints created from paint on ornaments. They are meaningful because each year when I look at them, they remind me how precious time is. I look at the ornaments, and with another year passed, I’m reminded to embrace time with the people I deeply love. Now that my boys are teenagegers, they’re changing rapidly. I’m reminded of how soon they’ll be out of the house as they grow into independence.

Aside from ornaments, we can encourage learners to empathize with the needs of our family through facilitating a gift giving design challenge. Although I would modify the linked activity for elementary learners (it’s designed for adults via Stanford d.school), it still provides context to how we can incorporate Design Thinking and creating a meaningful gift giving experience. I’ve seen teachers work with learners to create coupon books (sweeping, vacuuming, helping to make dinner, etc.) for their parents, as they empathize with all that their parents do to take care of them and their home. We could also make bird feeders out of used plastic bottles, or snowmen out of socks that are no longer worn (our boys created these with my mother-in-law and to this day, they’re one of my most favorite decorations)! Additionally, we can encourage learners to identify their strengths and talents to leverage them into forms of a gift. Learners who have a talent in art, could create their own painting or craft for family members. A child who has a strength of writing, may write poetry or short stories for others to enjoy. The possibilities are endless! Gifts don’t have to be extravagant to have meaning, in fact it’s often the most simple gifts that have the most meaning.

In a world that is often so focused on consumerism and glorifies “busy,” I want to take a step back and really focus on people. This holiday season, let’s strive to embrace time with friends and loved ones. If gifting, let’s use it as an opportunity and provide a need, create a memory, or an experience for others. Perhaps you have a talent or gift that allows you to do something for other that they would enjoy. Anyone great at cooking? If so, I’d love for you to come on over and gift a meal! I really enjoy eating, who doesn’t?!

All joking aside, if we can also be responsible consumers, that’s even better. It doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t still bring joy to our child or loved one by getting them the special gift(s) on their wish list, but rather, placing an emphasis on creating meaning over just giving material items. In the classroom, we can leverage the holiday season to foster empathy and understanding for those our students are giving to. Additionally, we can seize the moment and promote a culture of meaningful giving and the understanding that time together is more precious than anything. Giving brings us joy and inspire others to nurture their own giving spirit, bringing joy to others.

This holiday season, I wish everyone all the best. Thank you for taking the time to explore topics through my blog posts, sharing, and connecting with me. I’m truly grateful to have the opportunity to do the work I do. Each day, I get to see amazing educators in action, and it brings me so much hope and joy–– to me, that’s a magnificent gift!