Embrace Meaningful Moments

Here in upstate New York, we’ve already had a couple of snow days. In the past, I looked at them as an opportunity to accomplish more. I would spend hours writing, scheduling out emails, or creating graphics. All of that is great, and I really enjoy feeling productive. However, this year, during both snowdays, I turned my attention and “productivity” in a different direction and it felt amazing. I turned my attention toward my two teens, our home, and myself.

When our boys were little, every snow day revolved around them. My husband and I would take them sledding, make snowmen and snow angles, bake, or just play games and watch movies. The older our kids grew, they began going in their own directions more and in the meantime, my work grew differently. As I began developing my own work beyond my school organization, I started utilizing every free minute to get ahead. Additionally, I want to continue growing professionally so I consumed myself in learning, creating, and curating.

The trouble is that I have a tendency to become hyper focused on my work. I’m very goal oriented and when I set a goal, I will meet and surpass it; it’s just in my nature to work my tail off until I do what I set out to do. In a recent conversation with a very close and like-minded friend, we discussed our passion in connection with our work. When it comes to my work, I really enjoy it. I enjoy it to the point that I would sit down on any evening and dig in, like some might a good book. There have been times when my husband has asked if I’m, ‘still working,’ but I often lose site that my work is even viewed as work. I have frequently compared my enjoyment for my work to someone who loves to crochet, run, or watch football.

Often, my enjoyment for my work can pull me from where my attention is needed most. As a result, I sometimes then feel guilt as a mom that I’m not doing enough. Despite how much I rationalize that I am, I feel that it’s not enough. I think many moms can relate. In our society, I think many of us moms want to be that caretaker, run the home, but also want to have our own identity outside of being a mother. At least, I do. When our boys were little, I wanted to be home with them. So, I took roughly three years off of teaching. During that time, my husband had the luxury to get out the door without worrying about doing much of anything else and even completed his administration degree during that time because I was caring for everything else (that was my choice and yes, he helped with a lot, too). However, the more he and I talked about his work and all he was learning, I felt pulled back in the other direction. I craved working again and struggled with feeling like I was “falling behind” professionally. I don’t think I was though. Afterall, I was learning so much about the learning process through my own two boys who were so amazing to watch and interact with as they grew. I don’t ever regret taking those years, it was an absolute blessing to be home with them.

Being a parent is a juggling act, for sure. I don’t know that there’s a perfect way to balance everything in life. However, this past year, I have to admit that although I prioritized family in many ways, much of my time was spent focused on my work. I don’t necessarily look at it like it’s a bad thing, but definitely something that I want to be more aware of. As I reflect here, I think I definitely found more balance from July 2019 to present.

So, on our last snow day, I picked up my laptop and started further developing a project that I’ve been working on. After about an hour and a half, I looked around and decided that although my boys are 13 and 15, it’s the perfect opportunity to spend time with one another. I wanted to embrace the moment. Now, if you’re a parent of a teen, you know that this is hit or miss. Fortunately for me, it was a win! Throughout the day my youngest helped wrap presents and we worked on a project he wanted some feedback on. We also played cards, watched a movie, and just hung out with one another. My eldest shared lots of funny videos with me, shared stories about school, and once the weather cleared, wanted to go to the gym with me. I was able to work on my own projects, spend time with loved ones, and engage in self-care! In my opinion, that’s an awesome day.

Although I love the work I do, I have to remember to pull away to embrace moments that won’t always be an option for me. It’s very real that our first born is 15 and three years from going to college or into a career. It’s crazy to see our once tiny guy now standing at 6’1″. Our youngest will follow right behind. I take any hug or snuggle I can get, because it’s so different now than when they were little. In life, it’s so important to carve out time with family and friends. In this upcoming year, I want to be more thoughtful with my calendar. Sure, I’ll include events and plan backwards as I do now to ensure I meet deadlines, but I want to be more intentional about penciling in time for my family and friends and planning activities with one another, in addition to just seizing moments.

For the next week, I am going to take time to just be with family. My goal is to reorganize how I go about what I do and be more intentional with how I spend my time. For example, I don’t necessarily want to cut back on the work I’m doing, it’s something I enjoy. However, I could absolutely cut back on the time I spend on social media that involves just scrolling, and be more aware of embracing and planning time with family and friends to just be together. And, although my 13 and 15 year old are doing more with friends, sports, or on their own, I really want to foster togetherness and be thoughtful in how we grow as a family through these teen years. It’s crazy to think how fast time will change in the blink of an eye. Seriously, sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday they were running around the house as little guys.

On Jan. 2, 2020, (my birthday!) look for my #OneWord blog post. For the past several years, instead of a New Year’s Resolution, I’ve chosen One Word to live by for that year. In past years I’ve chosen the words: limitless, courageous, and Sisu (Finnish for strength). There’s a bit of a theme going. However, for 2020, I feel a change coming when it comes to my #OneWord theme. Over the holiday, I’ll determine that word by just letting it come to me during some quiet time. In the meantime, cheers to a wonderful holiday season. I hope you too, take time to be with family and/or friends and spend some time caring for yourself as well. Happy holidays and wishing you joy in the New Year!